“It’s very puzzling… we thought we lesbians are safe”
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Possibly infected them. Every one of these individuals reported that they had never ever been with male lovers or had contact with medical transmissions or drug that is injecting (we failed to ask if individuals had been created with HIV or other feasible dangers of transmission). Although hard for them all to know, the actual only real possible path of transmission and dangerous behavior they could report ended up being intercourse along with other females. All individuals additionally claimed out they had been infected with HIV and could not understand how it had happened that they were shocked to find. That they had all thought that simply because they had just been with ladies, these people were safe:
“…i possibly couldn’t know how it simply happened I thought we (lesbians) are safe, and the only person I was sexually active with was also a female because I was fine and. I really couldn’t comprehend… I possibly couldn’t comprehend. I possibly couldn’t know the way I possibly could have contracted the virus whenever I had thought I happened to be safe in means! ” Zanele, 31 yrs old, Durban
“It’s the manner in which you get infected as a lesbian since it’s actually confusing exactly how you are able. Other ladies understand which they have it from their lovers during penetrative sexual activity then again as a lady that is a lesbian whom additionally sleeps along with other women – it is extremely confusing. ” Lebo, 22 yrs old, Pretoria
The individuals’ confusion and disbelief is obvious through the above examples. Into the quote that is first Zanele repeats just just how she “couldn’t understand” being HIV infected. This feeling of confusion and very nearly perhaps not believing that certain is HIV positive ended up being a theme that is recurring the five individuals who reported exclusive intimate connections with ladies in their lifetime. It stays uncertain for most of them just exactly how feasible transmission could take place between females.
Of these individuals, coping with HIV demands constant explanations of how one got contaminated as assumptions override lived realities. Not just are individuals not able to realize feasible illness they simultaneously struggle to answer constant questions from others about how they could be infected for themselves:
“People think you got HIV that you have slept with a man and that’s how. It will make my entire life much much much harder because as a lesbian girl who is HIV positive, i have to explain the way I got HIV. ” Bongi, 33 yrs old, Johannesburg
“In the city they raise numerous questions regarding the very fact that i will be a lesbian and once they see…my partner is a lady. Then, `how did I be HIV good once I am somebody who really really really loves other ladies? ‘ they ask. Some also get so far as saying it isn’t astonishing that We have HIV – where have actually we have you ever heard that a lady and another woman may be included? ” Gugu, 30 yrs old, Durban
It really is obvious through the above quotes that their HIV status that is positive different problems into the everyday lives among these ladies. The constant need to explain a person’s status to others shows that you may still find misconceptions about HIV transmission in conjunction with lack of knowledge about same-sex relations.
Determining to reveal
Individuals had been additionally expected should they had disclosed their status to anybody apart from the interviewer. Reactions suggest that practically all individuals had disclosed up to somebody, some loved ones and friends that are few. But, a couple of participants had just disclosed to at least one or two other people. Some had disclosed to family relations, buddies and in addition publicly. One of the participants had been a couple of AIDS activists who had been understood inside their communities to openly be living with HIV. For people individuals that has disclosed to loved ones and buddies, disclosure had been couched when you look at the language of protection – i.e. Protecting yourself and another from feasible disease:
I still have to do the same for myself“As I would like to protect the next person. I’d nothing like to get re-infected…As very very long you can still get re-infected. While you continue having non-safe sex, ” Zintle, 22 yrs old, Pretoria
“My mom as well understands (about my HIV status) because if we collapse in front side of her she have to know that she must make use of gloves to aid so she defintely won’t be contaminated” Gugu, 30 yrs old, Durban
All stated the necessity and importance of disclosing to intimate partners while participants may shy away from disclosing to the general public. Central to such disclosure is protecting somebody and ensuring she doesn’t get badly infected:
“Most associated with lovers that I became dating – a lot of them are now actually HIV negative and we just be sure that they can always stay HIV negative. I mightn’t risk their life and We just be sure that I mightn’t do just about anything…” Taati, 26 yrs old, Windhoek
